My wife, Terry and I attended a memorial service for him in San Diego, California. We'd only met Rob twice and yet had been profoundly impressed by him. We were there for his parents, John and Jan as they are our friends and two wonderful, loving, supportive, talented people. We came to learn about Rob and what tremendous parents John and Jan were. There must have been over 350 people there, I would venture to guess closer to 400 or maybe even more. His grade school teacher spoke, his Karate instructor spoke, his high school sweetheart was there, his college girlfriend was there and they both spoke. They consoled each other. They both spoke of loving him. His was a short life, by the standards we measure time on this planet, in this life. When one thinks, hmm, he only had two girlfriends? Until one realizes how short his stay was during his visit here. We came to learn of how difficult if not impossible it was for him to come into this world, how the odds were against him from the beginning, how he wasn't even supposed to born. And yet, he came into the world defying the odds. And yet with all those things stacked up against him, the common theme everyone talked about, and I recall, was the smile, the ever present, the ear to ear grin that spoke of possible mischief. Not something bad but the kind that I feel dolphins and porpoises posses, as though they know something we don't, as though they know everything will be alright, we just have to have faith.
Terry and I met Rob doing our Department of Peace work. That is how we know his parents. Apparently, Rob had found his calling in the Student Peace Alliance, another arm of the Department of Peace Campaign for young people. He'd single handedly started the movement at Southwestern University in Texas from a single member of the Alliance (himself) to over 50 at the time of his passing. No doubt, those numbers will grow as he was known and loved by practically everyone on campus. There will be a memorial for him on the campus as well on January 14, 2009.
Rob was killed on campus I think two days or so shy of his 22 birthday, or numbers very close to those. He was merely crossing at badly lit intersection at night after having come to campus to show support for some of his fellow students who had to turn in final assignments. He'd turned his in the day before and didn't have to be there, he just wanted to be. As this world and this life can be ironic, he was struck by a car being driven by a friend. His friend, needless to say is devastated. Sparing the specific details as they are not of any real significance, Rob died a very short time later in the arms of the Chief of the Campus Police, I think at the scene. She knew him and of course life everyone else on campus, had affection for him. He died in the arms of someone who cared for him.
I wish I could have had everyone I ever knew be at the memorial for Rob so that they could have experienced what it was like to have gotten to know this young man through the stories, the words, the music, the sounds, the chimes, the tears, the laughter, the embraces, the chills the I experienced. His gift is immeasurable, his departure is merely in the physical realm, he is here and will always be here in the goodness and kindness and generosity that is and will forever be in all human beings. He is a reflection of his parents and a reflection of what exists in each and every one of us if we would only allow that part of us to rise to the surface and shine. And I have come to realize how Rob had learned that secret, to let it shine. As was said many times during the memorial: "Rob got it!"
I will undoubtedly be writing more and more about him and will be honored to do so. How funny that as I sat down to start a "blog," I was thinking what do I write about? I never thought I would use the word "blog" and yet here it is.
Be well, be healthy, be happy, have a great New Year and stay in touch...
Paul
